Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Dreams..

There is a common belief that one of the many pregnancy symptoms is to have weird and vivid dreams. Sometimes they are so real that it is difficult to know if you are dreaming or not. I read in one of my pregnancy books that these dreams can be easily related to all the changes that will happen in life after baby is born. The dreams show our own fears, frustrations, hopes and desires. Well, count me in!!. I can now add this symptom to the list. Unfortunately, most of my dreams seem to only illustrate my fears and frustrations, in other words, they aren’t dreams, they are nightmares. Here are some examples of my latest dreams/nightmares:

Dream #1
Location: Hospital – soccer field. I’m not kidding!. After the C-section I found myself recovering and waiting for news about Tobias in a recovery room, which happened to be a soccer field. It was not only any soccer field, this one was dirty and very ugly.
People: John, Tobias, nurses and myself. The nurses were also very evil.
Circumstances: My recovery after the C-section was very painful and the nurses didn’t want to give me any pain medicines. Now, in real life, It is very true that I am scared of the C-section. However I don’t think I am scared of the actual recovery or the pain associated with it.
Something positive: Tobias had a successful and uneventful surgery. Hooray!! In this dream, Tobias had silky and curly black hair, and his eyes were kind of blue/purple in color and very, very pretty. :-)

Dream #2
Location: Hospital. This one was a normal one.
People: John, mi mom, doctors (pediatric surgeon and neonatologist), nurses, Tobias and me.
Circumstances: The doctors and nurses had kidnapped Tobias!. Not only that, but they had also convinced my mom and John that I was crazy and that I had never had a baby!!.. This dream was full of frustration and also very exhausting. So much, that next day (and in real life), I felt extremely tired from all the fighting I had to put on with the doctors and nurses.
Something positive: At the end of the dream, the pediatric surgeon finally accepted that they had kidnapped my little baby, and so my mom and John realized I wasn’t crazy but actually telling the truth. Not so positive is that the neonatologist and nurses didn’t want to give me my son back!.

When I told all the details of this dream to my friend Carolina, she made me realized that this shows how unnatural will be to leave Tobias in the hospital, far away from mommy and daddy and in company of strangers. Buuuaaa!! However, I’m sure that in real life the doctors and nurses will take good care of Tobias and do whatever possible to help him recover.

Dream #3
Location: Our house and a hospital. The hospital was again dirty and unkempt and there were no real nurses or doctors.
People: John, my mom, doctors, nurses and me.
Circumstances: At week 31 of the pregnancy (that is this week), my water suddenly broke and my labor had started. When we arrived to the hospital they didn’t know what to do and really didn’t care much. I kept insisting that they should call the hospital in Denver and transfer us there as soon as possible to increase the chances of Tobias being OK and in good hands. They didn’t listen to me and at some point one of the so-called-doctors just told me that he would like to test my amniotic fluid for mycobacteria. (For those who don’t know, I work on Tuberculosis research and Tuberculosis is caused by infection with a mycobacteria). ;-) I leave the possible meaning of this little detail to your imagination.
Something positive: Waking up and finding Tobias was still inside my belly. Hopefully and with God’s help, he will stay there for at least another 6 weeks. Without a single doubt this dream was the most terrifying of all. I was petrified with the possibility of Tobias being born preterm and making his issue with the O even worse.

Ok, I hope you all had fun reading my dreams. It is a general belief in Colombia that if you tell your dreams to somebody, these dreams will not come true. So, I thought to myself, what a better idea than to tell these dreams/nightmares to as many people as possible so that they don't become a reality. However, if I have a positive dream I won't be able to tell anything about it until it becomes real!!

Suenos..

Dicen por ahi que uno de los sintomas del embarazo es tener suenos raros y que parecen tan reales que es dificil diferenciar si uno esta de verdad sonando o no. Segun lei en un libro, muchos de los suenhos estan relacionados con todos los cambios que ocurriran en la vida de uno cuando nazca el bebe y reflejan nuestros propios temores, frustaciones, esperanzas y deseos. Al parecer ahora puedo sumar este sintoma a los otros sintomas de mi embarazo, pero desafortunadamente la mayoria parecen reflejar todos mis temores y frustaciones, major dicho son mas pesadillas que suenos. Aqui van algunos detalles de mis suenos/pesadillas:

Sueno #1
Lugar: Hospital – estadio de futbol. No miento, despues de la cesarea me encontre recuperandome y esperando noticias de Tobias en un estadio de futbol, sucio y feo, que al parecer tambien era un hospital.
Personajes: John, Tobias, enfermeras y yo. Las enfermeras ademas eran malvadas.
Situacion: Mi recuperacion despues de la cesarea era muy dolorosa y las enfermeras no me querian dar nada para el dolor. Ahora, en la vida real le tengo miedo a la cesarea pero no a la recuperacion ni al dolor.
Algo positivo: Tobias tuvo una operacion exitosa y sin ninguna complicacion. Hurra!! En el sueno, Tobias tenia el pelo negro y sedoso, con crespos delicados y los ojos eran de un color azul purpura muy lindos.

Sueno #2
Lugar: Hospital. Este si era uno normal.
Personajes: John, mi mami, medicos (cirujano y neonatologo), enfermeras, Tobias y yo.
Situacion: Los medicos y enfermeras habian secuestrado a Tobias y convencieron a John y a mi mami que yo estaba loca y en realidad nunca habia tenido ningun bebe!!.. Este sueno fue tan frustrante y desalentador que al dia siguiente (en la vida real) estuve todo el dia cansada de tanto pelear con los medicos y enfermeras.
Algo positivo: Al final del sueno el cirujano finalmente acepto que ellos si habian secuestrado a Tobias, y John y mi mami tambien me creyeron. Lo malo es que neonatologo y la malvada enfermera no me lo querian devolver.
Cuando le conte esto a mi amiga Carolina, ella me hizo dar cuenta que este sueno refleja lo poco natural que va ser tener que dejar a Tobias en el hospital, lejos de papa y mama y en compania de extranos. Buuuaaa!!..Pero estoy segura que en la vida real los medicos y enfermeras seran muy buenos con Tobias.

Sueno #3
Lugar: Nuestra casa y despues el hospital. En el hospital todo estaba roto y no tenian enfermeras ni medicos de verdad!..
Personajes: John, mi mami, medicos, enfermeras y yo.
Situacion: A la semana 31 de embarazo (osea esta semana) rompi fuente y empece el trabajo de parto. Cuando llegamos al hospital, los medicos no sabian que hacer y tampoco era que les importara mucho. Yo les insistia en que tenian que llamar al hospital de Denver y asegurarse que me trasladaran alla lo mas pronto possible para aumentar el chance de que Tobias saliera bien de todo eso. Pero no me paraban bolas y a uno de los medicos solo se le ocurrio decirme que queria investigar si mi liquido amniotico tenia micobacterias. (Para los que no saben yo trabajo en investigacion en tuberculosis, el cual es una micobacteria). ;-) La interpretacion de este pequenho detalle la dejo a la imaginacion de ustedes.
Algo positivo: Despertarme y darme cuenta que Tobias todavia esta dentro de mi barriga y que confiando en Dios seguira ahi por al menos las siguientes 6 semanas. Este sueno sin lugar a dudas a sido el mas aterrorizante de todos, yo tenia mucho miedo de que Tobias naciera prematuro y que eso complicara aun mas la situacion con el O.

Bueno, espero se hayan divertido leyendo mis suenos. Es una creencia en Colombia que si uno le cuenta sus suenos a alguien, estos no se haran realidad, asi que pense: que mejor que contarselo a toda la gente possible y asi evitar por todos los medios que estos no se vuelvan realidad. Lo malo es que cuando tenga algun sueno positivo no lo podre contra sino hasta despues de que se haga realidad!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Week 29


It is now 29 weeks that Tobias has been inside my belly. Last week Nico returned from Colombia, so we have a full house again. My mom also visited and we enjoyed her company very much! Good news is that as we said goodbye to her, we said hello to Paullete (John’s mom) and she and her husband John Allan will be in our company for this weekend and a little bit of next week.

Last Tuesday we had another follow up ultrasound and we could see that Tobias is growing as he should be. He is measuring at 2lb, 10oz!. His little abdomen is still measuring behind at about 26-27 weeks, but the good news is that it has grown proportionally since last month. The doctor confirmed that his O contains the entire liver and a little bit of stomach, so, it is still the same as last month. Dr. also said that in his opinion, Tobias' O is big and will probably need to be fixed by stages, as oppose to one single procedure. It is still up to the surgeon and will depend on how Tobias and his O look right after birth. It is difficult to know for sure, but Tobias lungs seem to be growing in size as they should. The lung size is great news because O-babies tend to have small lungs which can complicate their recovery after birth. Tobias is still moving a lot even though it really looks very cramped in there.

Ok, so, in 4 weeks we will have another ultrasound and the Drs will also schedule the C-section date. Right now we are probably looking at week 37-38 - first or second week in October. Since this is the first time that we will now the exact date baby is going to be born, I feel like asking for an special date. I was thinking October 1oth, so that Tobias B-day would be 10/10/10!!!.
These days most of our thoughts have been in Iowa, with Great-grandma Bonnie Jean (John's grandmother). Bonnie Jean hasn't been feeling good lately but she still has her own energetic spirit and loving heart. We wish we could be close to her to offer her our company and support, to give her kisses and hugs. Meanwhile we are with her in heart and spirit and we send her our best wishes everyday. The picture above shows Grandma Bonnie with Nico and Emily in one of our visits to Iowa last year.


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Semana 29




Esta semana es la numero 29 desde que Tobias esta en mi barriga. La semana pasada finalmente llego Nico y la casita volvio a sentirse llena como siempre. Mi mami tambien estuvo aqui y pudimos disfrutar de su compania por una semanita!. Las buenas noticias es que aunque despedimos a mi mami, a los pocos dias recibimos la visita de Paulette (la mama de John). Ella y su esposo John Allan estaran con nosotros este fin de semana y un poquito de la siguente semana.

El martes tuvimos otra ecografia con el perinatologo y pudimos ver que Tobias esta creciendo como debe ser y ya tiene un peso estimado de 2lb y 10 onzas. El abdomen sigue siendo mas pequenho de lo que deberia ser, midiendo entre 26 y 27 semanas, pero ha crecido desde la ultima vez que lo midieron, entonces esas son buenas noticias!. El doctor confirmo que el onfalocele contiene todo el higado y un poquito de estomago, igual que hace 4 semanas. Tambien nos dijo que el cree que la cirugia va a tener que llevarse a cabo por etapas, aunque eso depende del cirujano y de como se vea todo despues del nacimiento. Es dificil saber con exactitud, pero los pulmones parecen estar creciendo adecuadamente. Estas son buenas noticias porque los bebes con Os tienden a tener pulmones pequenos, lo que complica la recuperacion despues del nacimiento. Tobias sigue moviendose montones, a pesar de verse completamente apretado dentro de mi barriga.

Bueno, dentro de 4 semanas tendremos otra ecografia y tambien nos diran la fecha de la cesarea. Por ahora el doctor piensa que sera dentro de la semana 37 y 38, osea la primera o segunda semana de octubre. Ya que es la primera vez que voy a saber con anticipacion en que dia va a nacer el bebe, me dan ganas de pedir que la cesarea sea el 10 de octubre, asi el cumpleanhos de Tobias seria el 10/10/10!!!. Lo malo es que cae un domingo, asi que dudo mucho que me hagan caso...

En estos dias tambien hemos estado pensando mucho en la bisabuela Bonnie Jean (la abuelita de John). Bonnie Jean no se ha sentido bien ultimamente, pero conserva su espiritu energetico y su amoroso corazon. Quisieramos poder estar mas cerca de ella y ofrecerle nuestra compania, darle besos y abrazos. Por ahora estamos con ella en corazon y espiritu y le mandamos nuestros mejores deseos cada dia. En la foto de arriba se ve ella con Nico y Emily en una de nuestras visitas a Iowa el anho pasado.